Monday and time for me to make you laugh.

First up is a clip of typical Australian Humor.

As they say, seeing is believing.

Read below, then watch the clip

A fully loaded Russian IL-76 cargo plane…… Payload 450t!!!!

This really raises the pucker factor…. Listen to the “controllers” in the tower who are Australian: Ya gotta love it.   ”The Vodka Burner” as the Aussies call it, literally uses every inch of runway……. WATCH THE WHOLE VIDEO.. (shot from the tower)

You can HEAR THE CONVERSATION IN THE TOWER.

They are incredulous–that it makes it….

Now that was close.

A Joke

Meet Marvin, men’s answer to Maxine!!!

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me….’
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How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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AND MAXINE SAYS…………’MARVIN’…

Maxine just had to have the last word.

And one last one for the Taliban.

A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, ‘you’ve all got 30 seconds to get out!’
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, ‘you cu*t!’

OK one more.

An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, “Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I’m only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won’t know what to do sexually, can I have 72 prostitutes?”

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you’ll be on constant, exhausting duty.”

The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”

And Allah replied, “Who said they were women?”

Burn Baby Burn