An Up-date first

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, ‘Naaahhh!

Then they said to me ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind Kids.’

Then I thought…

Fuck – I could win this!’

Tee off next weekend will keep you posted.

Now for some real fun.

Then drop over and see ~m,Moe and Dilligaf and get some more

laughs.

Now here is a new airline to fly with.

WELCOME TO TPA

(Terrorist-Proof  Airlines)

We at TPA, Terrorist-Proof Airlines, are in the flying business!

We can absolutely guarantee that WALK-ON GUNS, KNIVES, BOX

CUTTERS, SHOE-BOMBS or other  weapons will never be carried onto

OUR FLIGHTS!

Book your next flight with TPA, the safest  airline in the industry.

AND, if a Muslim fundamentalist sees a naked woman, he is obliged to

commit suicide –

now taking bookings, don’t delay

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

‘Jesus knows you’re here.’

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

‘Jesus is watching you.’

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot

‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.

‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, and then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’

The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’

‘Moses,’ replied the bird.

‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’

and one last one for the boys.

Burn Baby Burn