Ah, Monday again.

Today to make you laugh we are going to try a few different snippets of information,

A few funny cartoons and a average Aussie pissing contest about home grown nasties.

First up you just have to love dogs.

Next a little Steve Wonder Magic on Twitter.

That’s not nice. Funny but not nice.

Now what dirty bastard thought up this?

Sometimes you should know the family tree. For god sake “Luke use the Power” and not the light saber.

Now for a good old pissing contest.

Croc’s all over the world can be nasty bastards like this one in America who made headlines.

This bloke got a bit close to the water hazard on the golf course one morning.

This bloke was hungry and got breakfast.

These blokes got upset and got it back.

Popped him and the the arm in a helicopter to re-unite them back together.

and the offender was in the back of the ute for who knows where.

In Aussie our nasty river Geckos do it differently as the next lot of photos show.

Nice size. I think they called him Hannibal.

Yep he take more than a arm.

Time to skin this bad boy.

But what have we here looks like he did have a good breakfast.

On closer inspection there will be no flight in a helicopter need here.

Enough of that river Geckos win the pissing contest although this next snippet might just be tougher.

Dog Pack Attacks Croc In Northern Territory

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The crocodile, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the ‘apex predator’, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and ’survival of the pack mentality’ bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the croc preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the croc.

Not for the squeamish…

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Ha Ha bet I got a few of you with that one.

Now run over and see what ~m, Moe and Dilligaf have got for you today

Burn Baby Burn

Well it’s Monday again and what a bugger the golf was. Not one kid to be seen.

All the players were guys my age and 2 women.

At least I won a prize.

You guessed it Second last.

The only person I beat was a 80 year old in a bloody wheel chair.

Moral of the story “Don’t believe so called mates”

Now for some fun

Oh for a by gone era where terrorists were treated the correct way.

I would be more than happy to replace the firing squad.

On a funnier note

He won’t complain when he is older.

And last of all a little humour about our mates across the ditch.

KIWI’s
A bloke walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a shandy. All the
Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see another
Australian visitor.

The barman says, ‘You ain’t from around here, are ya?’

The guy says, ‘No, I’m from Canada .’

The bartender says, ‘What do you do in Canada ?’

The guy says, ‘I’m a taxidermist.’

The bartender says, ‘A tixidermist? What the hick is a tixidermist? Do
you drive a tixi?’

‘No, a taxidermist doesn’t drive a taxi. I mount animals.’

The bartender grins and yells,

‘ He’s okay boys. He’s one of us.’

Now run over and see  ~m, Moe and Dilligaf.

One more I hear you say?

OK

From a European news paper.

Burn Baby Burn

An Up-date first

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, ‘Naaahhh!

Then they said to me ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind Kids.’

Then I thought…

Fuck – I could win this!’

Tee off next weekend will keep you posted.

Now for some real fun.

Then drop over and see ~m,Moe and Dilligaf and get some more

laughs.

Now here is a new airline to fly with.

WELCOME TO TPA

(Terrorist-Proof  Airlines)

We at TPA, Terrorist-Proof Airlines, are in the flying business!

We can absolutely guarantee that WALK-ON GUNS, KNIVES, BOX

CUTTERS, SHOE-BOMBS or other  weapons will never be carried onto

OUR FLIGHTS!

Book your next flight with TPA, the safest  airline in the industry.

AND, if a Muslim fundamentalist sees a naked woman, he is obliged to

commit suicide –

now taking bookings, don’t delay

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

‘Jesus knows you’re here.’

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

‘Jesus is watching you.’

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot

‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.

‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, and then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’

The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’

‘Moses,’ replied the bird.

‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’

‘The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.’

and one last one for the boys.

Burn Baby Burn

MM is a bit of a cheat this week.
A few days ago, I did this post, and I think it’s too damned good to be pushed down the page just yet, because there are people who will appreciate it more than anything else I could post at the moment.
So yeah, I’ve learned that art of cheat posts!
Then again, I always say if you’re not cheating you’re not trying so it’s quite fitting after all!!

Once you’re done here, be sure to visit my cohorts in ~m, Moe and DILLIGAF, because they’re sure to have done real posts and will no doubt give me grief about this one!!

Burn Baby Burn