These little gems are to determine how Gay you are so pay attention.

If you could see any of the things that the captions were saying I am sorry but,

As for me, I am still trying to see the bloody apple.

Burn Baby Burn

I owe my best of bestest cousin Debbie for this post. She is my favorite cousin of all time.

She knows my humour and sends me titt bits like this. Thanks Cous.

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of :

‘ASYLUM’
Today’s program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
Hop on a boat
And win
A FREE HOUSE!
We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The Australian Taxpayer.
And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English:
‘ASYLUM’
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $800 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone
just buy a ticket to Indonesia
And catch the first available boat.
No application ever refused – reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you
enter Australian waters and remember the magic password:
‘ASYLUM’
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia’s gateway where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips to luxury accommodation.
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia …
Our most popular destinations also include the Baxter’s Reef and the world famous Christmas Island Resort.
If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget, there’s no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
It won’t cost you a penny.
It could change your life forever .
So play today.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovo drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas…
COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the Indonesia fishing ports
Don’t stop in Thailand or Bali
Go straight to Australia
And you are:
GUARANTEED
to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone’s a winner, when they play

‘ASYLUM’

“FOR FUCK SAKE”

This might be funny except it sounds oh to familiar.

White Australian born Males are the most discriminated against humans in the entire world.

Pay your taxes, work hard so our government can let in bloody arseholes with one word of English.

And if the government say’s No you can’t come in.

Here is free yes free legal aid paid for buy our taxpayers to,

go to court and tell us we are racists and our soft cock legal system

will let you in and then sue the poor bastards who said no you can’t come in.

Some say we are the lucky country.

Only if you were born somewhere else.

Burn Baby Burn

Well it’s Monday again.

This Monday I have a old but Typical Joke to get you smiling.

Young Johnny is a product of the late sixties or early seventies.

He shows the honesty and enterprise of a generation that was not politically correct.

That is why I love his jokes so much.

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning..

They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something,

then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off:
“I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly,

“My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

“I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained
to  everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”     ”Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn.

The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk.
“$2,467,” he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher,

“What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes,” echoed the teacher,

“How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny,
“I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a sample.

They all said the same thing,
“Hey, this tastes like shit!”

Then I would say,

“It is shit.  Wanna buy a toothbrush?

Now that is one smart enterprising young man,

He would be on the bus but I recon he is about two or three buses ahead of us.

Who knows what he is doing today,

But i would guess he is in jail somewhere.

Why you ask?

Because of Political correctness.

I bet  the shit wasn’t white, or had the Heart foundation Tick,

Didn’t have a Label of ingredients or other bullshit like calorie counts.

Enough said.

Go over and see my mates ~m and Morky for some more laughs

Burn Baby Burn

UPDATE

I found a photo of Johnny not taken to long ago.

He is now married and enjoys going to fancy dress parties with his wife and best mate,

Although his humour has matured Johnny is still miles down the burnway ahead of us.

Just in case you don’t recognize him ,he is on the far left.

Burn Baby Burn

Today I am watching Australia’s V8 Supercar’s  Racing around Surfers Paradise street circuit. The one Indy cars use to race on up to last year so I though this was appropriate.

These are David Letterman’s 10 top reasons why there are no black drivers in the American NASCAR series. It is also why there are none in the Australian V8 Supercar series as well.

The Reasons

10: You have to sit upright to drive a race car.

9: There is no passenger seat for the Ho.

8: The engine noise drowns out the rap music.

7: Cadillacs are not approved  race cars.

6: The pit crew cannot work on the race car and hold their pants at the same time.

5: Police cars on the race track at the same time interfere with the race.

4: Your pistol will not stay under the front seat.

3: They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

2: When they crash their cars they bail out and run.

And the number one reason there are no blacks driving in NASCAR or V8 Supercars!

1: You are not allowed to wear your helmet sideways.

I know “Racist” but we are all RED in Hell!

Burn Baby Burn

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION?

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

So what is the sport of choice for owner’s ?

Why, Marbles of course!

What else hangs from their little wieners?

Now that you have had a laugh here (unless you’re an owner), go over to my mates ~m, Morky and Blondie for a few more.

Burn baby burn

Here are a few laugh’s for the boys mid week to make the week funnier.

Well we are told to recycle!

We will never win a that game.

Idiot he forgot the golf umbrella and the trolly.

I know already “BURNING FOREVER”.

Not a bad trick that!

OK a few for the girls so I don’t burn sooner than I think.

Now that’s Gunner hurt bad.

and last of all what will happen to me soon and it won’t be a duck pointing the gun.

Burn Baby Burn

Ah Monday Again.

Time to try and make people laugh.

Challenge taken.

Don’t forget to visit my mates ~m , Morky and Blondie for more laughs.

That was the original Postman Pat Intro.

Now for one that has been upgraded for my sense of humour.

Now that’s funny.

Burn Baby Burn

Here are some unique Restaurants and a few funny photos.

When you have had a laugh here go over and see my mates ,

~m, Morky and Blondie.

I bet “Shit on a Stick” is on the menu.

I wonder what Sauces they have ?

I wonder if they do “Take Away”?

I bet it’s not that big.

They seem to have an obsession with the lower part of the body i think.

All I have to say about that is,

“Read the fish, read the fish”

Now that’s how you spell it.

Burn Baby Burn