I have been slack but after 2 weeks of pre and post stock take I am back.

this reminds me of the House of Representatives !

Ferrari have launched a new model.

It looks similar to most Ferrari’s and still has the same effect of the old Ferrari’s.

Nice looking car, but what effect does it have?

Bloody Italian cars. Should of tried a Jaguar. They would of shed all their clothes with a Jag!

Burn baby burn.

Now I suffer from heartburn, and its not from what i write but from what I eat.

Come to think of it, it might be you know who preparing me for down below,

giving me a taste of that warm hot feeling.

Now that’s a thought that will fester.

I take Bi Carb in water and presto! It’s all gone.

I don’t think i will be trying Gaviscon any time soon.

Come to think of it,(What a terrible play on words) I will never try it full stop.

Burn baby burn

Every Sunday i will endeavor to pass on a bit if inspiration for the week ahead.

Some of these will be tips on the use of household items, some will be just outrages mutterings.

Today’s sermon is the helpful hint on the use of duct tape.

NO it has nothing to do with little furry animals.

Some of you readers are really silly. I am not a Kiwi.

Burn baby burn

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in  Kenya after graduating from  Northwestern  University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bull shit stories.

Burn baby burn