Archive for the ‘ Satan ’ Category

Office Dares

Here are a few items to have fun with at work.

I like one point number 7

Three point numbers 4 and 5

and 5 point dares 1, 5, 8, 10 and 13.

Must remember to start doing these.

As for the rest of you on the bus!

Go on I dare you to just do one.

One Point Dares
1.
Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
2.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3.
Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
4.
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5.
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
6.
When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
7.
Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy…”
8.
Don’t use any punctuation.
9.
Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10.
Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.
Three Point Dares
1.
Say to your boss, “I like your style”, wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4.
Every time you get an email, shout ”email”.
5.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6.
Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, “dagnamit, it’s happened again!”. Then do it again.
7.
Introduce yourself to a new colleague as “the office bicycle”. Then wink and pout.
8.
Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can’t seem to access any p*rnography web sites.
Five Point Dares
1.      At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2.      Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3.      For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Dave”.
4.      Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two”.
5.      When you’ve picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ‘’she can abort it for all I care”.
6.      After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for one hour.
7.      In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
8.      At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”
9.      Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
10.     Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11.     During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12.     As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13.     Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14.     Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, “I’ll see you tonight”.

Now go and have some fun at somebody else expense.

You might get a few laughs even if your the only one laughing!


Burn Baby Burn


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Malarky Monday

Lets have some fun today!

I think I will just look through my vast range of Blogg Fodder which I find or get sent to me.

Here Goes.

First up lets look at the fairer sex!

Ain’t that the TRUTH? :devil:

Now that’s just nasty.

But you only look with your eyes?????????????????????

Ok a few for the boys?

Ha Ha Ha Ha! No? I thought it was funny :lol:

Yeah right.

Not real smart that lot!

Now that’s funny even if the guy is a fibber.

Lets look at religion!

Dumb Cat. Dogs can’t read!

Speaking of Pussy, here is a few modest ones.

Here is why some people should be neutered.

I smoke but that is just wrong.

And the number ONE Moron.

Enough of that I will leave you with a new Chinese Product.

I don’t know if Women or Men will be more interested in it?

You be the judge.




Please, please click the photo to enlarge and read the print.

It is so funny. Trust me Do it. Do it. You know you want to.

Do not die wondering now. Just do it.

Now hop over to ~m, Moe and Dilligaf for more fun.


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More Kids

Remember those idiots from Monday?

Well here are a few more to terrorize parent’s.

Enjoy!!!!!!

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Love his belly tat. Imagine a daughter bringing home this?

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image012

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and the very last one

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Now for all the Dads, how to make sure your children do not date or do this to themselves!

Do you want to know  how???????????????????????????????????

OK.

The very first time they come home or bring someone home with piercings.

1. Get insulated pliers

2. Put right foot on said persons throat.

3. Hold on to offending jewelry with said pliers.

4. Pull like bloody hell.

Just hope the Judge has kids as well and your home free.

Burn Baby Burn

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Straight Man Test.

These little gems are to determine how Gay you are so pay attention.

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If you could see any of the things that the captions were saying I am sorry but,

Friendly Reminder

As for me, I am still trying to see the bloody apple.

Burn Baby Burn

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Race Car Drivers

Today I am watching Australia’s V8 Supercar’s  Racing around Surfers Paradise street circuit. The one Indy cars use to race on up to last year so I though this was appropriate.

These are David Letterman’s 10 top reasons why there are no black drivers in the American NASCAR series. It is also why there are none in the Australian V8 Supercar series as well.

The Reasons

10: You have to sit upright to drive a race car.

9: There is no passenger seat for the Ho.

8: The engine noise drowns out the rap music.

7: Cadillacs are not approved  race cars.

6: The pit crew cannot work on the race car and hold their pants at the same time.

5: Police cars on the race track at the same time interfere with the race.

4: Your pistol will not stay under the front seat.

3: They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

2: When they crash their cars they bail out and run.

And the number one reason there are no blacks driving in NASCAR or V8 Supercars!

1: You are not allowed to wear your helmet sideways.

I know “Racist” but we are all RED in Hell!

Burn Baby Burn

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A Few Jokes For The Boy’s

Here are a few laugh’s for the boys mid week to make the week funnier.

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Well we are told to recycle!

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We will never win a that game.

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Idiot he forgot the golf umbrella and the trolly.

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I know already “BURNING FOREVER”.

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Not a bad trick that!

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OK a few for the girls so I don’t burn sooner than I think.

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Now that’s Gunner hurt bad.

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and last of all what will happen to me soon and it won’t be a duck pointing the gun.

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Burn Baby Burn


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Malarky Monday

Here are some unique Restaurants and a few funny photos.

When you have had a laugh here go over and see my mates ,

~m, Morky and Blondie.

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I bet “Shit on a Stick” is on the menu. :devil:

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I wonder what Sauces they have ?

ATT00033

I wonder if they do “Take Away”?

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I bet it’s not that big.

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They seem to have an obsession with the lower part of the body i think. :grin:

ATT00035

All I have to say about that is,

“Read the fish, read the fish”

fish

Now that’s how you spell it. :devil:

Burn Baby Burn

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Aboriginal style …….

Morton,  An Australian Aboriginal picks up a  hooker.

‘How much do you charge for da  hour, sister?’ asks Morton.

‘$100,’ she  replies.

He says ‘Do you do Aboriginal  style?’

‘No’ she says.

‘I pay you  $200 to do it Aboriginal style’

‘No’, she  says, not knowing what Aboriginal style  is.

‘I pay you $300′

‘No’, she  says.

‘I pay you $400′

‘No’, she  says.

So finally Morton  says, ‘OK, I pay you $1,000 to do it Aboriginal  style.’

She thinks, ‘Well, I’ve been in the  game for over 10 years now.

I’ve had every kind of  request from weirdos from every part of the world.

How bad could Aboriginal Style be?”.

So  she agrees and has sex with him.

They do it  in every kind of way and in every possible  position.

Finally, after several hours, they  finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him  and says, ‘Hey, I was expecting something  perverted and disgusting.

But that was good.

So  what exactly is ‘Aboriginal  style’?’

Morton  replies

‘You send da bill to da Guvn’ment’

Burn Baby Burn

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Australian Sportsman

Australians love their sport.

Even our handicapped athletes will have a go at anything.

You only have to look at wheelchair rugby to understand.

I am a great supporter of the Para Olympics and here is a little something

for all of them.

Blind Cricket is a sport most people would think could not be played.

Watch this little presentation and learn. :devil:

I am not sure on the title.

Maybe i should of called it “Pussy Bashing” or “Slapping Pussy”

or maybe “Flying Puss” ?

Burn Baby Burn

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We all know and have seen some truly stupid Builders and the people who work for them.

What follows is an array of stupid things these idiots have done from all over the world.

Yes it’s not just your country of origin that has fools.

Be scared, be very scared they walk among us in  every country.

The 2008 Contractor’s and Tradesman’s Awards nominees were:

c1

1

c2

2

c3

3

c5

4

c6

5

c9

6

c11

7

And the winner is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

c12

Although this is possibly done because the builder

and his workers who have shown their intelligence

DO in fact have two DICKS.

Lets face it, you can not be that stupid and only be playing with one.


Burn baby burn


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