Ah Monday again. My how they seem to come around so quick!
Today I am just going to take the piss out of a few organizations that don’t have a sense of humour.
First up the Taliban!
“YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF…”
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have
a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000
rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but
consider bacon ”unclean.”
5. You think vests come in two styles:
bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can’t think of anyone you
haven’t declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but
routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones
have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think
every man should own at least one.
And finally ………
10. You’ve always had a crush on your
neighbor’s goat.
Here is a photo of a Taliban Hooker. Yes they do have them.
Isn’t she cute?
Now for some Arab fun!
Mohammed entered his classroom.
“What is your name?” asked the teacher.
“Mohammed”…. answered the kid.
“We are in Australia and there is no “Mohammed”. From now on your name will be “Bruce”.” replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammed returned home. “How was your day, Mohammed?” asked his mother.
“My name is not ‘Mohammed’. I am in Australia and now my name is ’Bruce’.”
“Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you.” and she beat him.
Then she called his father and he too beat him savagely.
The next day Mohammed returned to school. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked:
“What happened to you little Bruce?”
“Well, Miss, two hours after becoming Australian I was attacked by two fuckin’ Arabs!…”
Ah now for some politically incorrect jokes!
I can’t see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.
It’s just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot
or
a Frenchman a Cunt.
*************************************************************
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a
gravestone. I said
“morning..”
He replied,
“No, just having a shit.”
***************************************************************
Went to my first Muslim birthday party last week. The musical chairs was
a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!
***************************************************************
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a
fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet..
I shouted up to him,
“What’s up Abdul, won’t it fucking start
***********************************
Chinese guy walks into a bar.
The bartender is black.
Chinese guys says,
“Gimmie a jigger, nigger!”
The black guy is shocked, but gives him a shot.
The Chinese guy does the same thing.
The black guy gets pissed but still gives him another shot.
The Chinese guy says it again.
The black guy is royally pissed now.
He yells,
“You get back here! I’m going to do the same thing to you and you can
see how it feels.”
The black guy storms out and the Chinese guy gets behind the bar.
The black guy walks in and yells,
“Gimmie a drink, chink!”
The Chinese guys says,
“Sorry. We don’t serve niggers here!”
******************************************************
Enough of that now back to the Taliban! Yes?
I thought you might like to know
“How to Recognize a Gay Terrorist
Love the shoes!
I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system.
It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with tatty pink trim.
The City Council told me to fuck off.
So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque.
Work starts on Monday…
And last but not least some typical Australian Humor and problem
solving.
Three men – a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an
Aussie are all walking together one day..
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
‘I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total’,
says the Genie.
The Canadian says, ‘I am a farmer and my son will also farm.
I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ‘
POOF! With the blink of the Genie’s eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, ‘I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can get in.
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Aussie says, ‘I am very curious.
Please tell me more about this wall’
The Genie explains, ‘Well, it’s about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out;
The Aussie sits down on his Harley , cracks a beer, lights a cigarette,
smiles and says,
‘Fill the fucker with water.’
Now that I have offended at least half the world jump over and see for more laughs
~m , Moe and Dilligaf.
Burn Baby Burn
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